This little light of mine, I'm (someday) gonna let it shine......

Inspired by Ms Moonlilly - http://wiccanwonderland.wordpress.com/2014/04/11/h-is-for-holding-it-in/

This blog entry is inspired by Ms Moonlilly's H is for Holding it in discovered most 'coincidentally' through the PBP... again... Read this one first, then come back to me!! xx

I have been a part of something wonderful this past week. Someone who I love very much has finally accepted all of herself and is allowing her true self to be seen by the world! She has accepted that she is a spiritual being and that she just might be able to do the things we have hitherto only 'played' at doing. It was a wonderful thing to see the light bulb moment, be with her the moment she stopped fighting it and embraced it all, and for that I thank her and the universe for putting me in the room with her!

It is not surprising that I myself have been going through this same thing for much of my life. I always knew I was destined for something 'more' or 'greater' than the mundane, but my teenage mind decided that was fame and fortune. My adult brain now realises that this may perhaps be the embracing of my own spiritual self and allowing this part of me to shine to the world. Accepting that I have a gift or talent for helping people is hard. As Ms Williamson says 'our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure' and I can definitely relate to this.

Who am I to be so 'gifted'? Anyway, I am not really, it's only tarot I read and it's not even information from me, its from my guides and my client's guides. I don't really do anything but sit there and listen, what's so special in that??

This makes me laugh now though, because I know there are so many people out there who don't listen, who don't know what I/we know. They just live their lives based on YOLO or some other gimmick and hope for the best! In some cases they use YOLO as an excuse to be an arsehole, a fact I have made very clear to any teenager I can (and I am a High School Teacher by trade!) that it is not... There are no excuses for being an arsehole... ever... Especially when you are aware you are being such...

Anyway, as usual I digress (hoping said teenagers will read this blog eventually... :))...

I think this fear has extended to my ritual observance. For a while now I have been drawn to being more active in my spiritual life, for myself not for others. I have been getting 'flashes' of an offering bowl on my altar, me sitting in front of it meditating and connecting to the God and Goddess, perhaps doing a pathworking to find my God (I have found my Goddess, and she does need a named counterpart!! Well, not really, but it would make me feel better!). But something is stopping me... It is fear. Well, DER right? But not so much fear that nothing at all will happen, cause there is always that, but fear of what other's will say if they find out I pray and meditate to a Hindu Goddess and which ever God I am to work with now? I am an Australian living in Mine Country (not Wine Country... lol). You don't sit at home and pray to Indian Gods!! Gee, I don't think many people in this area even think about the concept of God in any form, let alone pray to one!! What would they think if they found out??

I think for me the truth is that most people who know me (students especially!) already know me as 'weird', so it would only be another notch in that belt anyway... I also have to realise that I should not fear them finding out, I should embrace the idea. What I could share with them should they but ask?!

There is another quote that fits nicely here - those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Perhaps I should use this as a mantra for a few days and see if it helps any??

I think the real trouble isn't what other people will think; a colleague pointed out to me once that people don't very much anyway. The real problem is accepting the real me and letting the old one go in favour of her. That is scary on a 'better the devil you know' level... I know who I am now, and she has gotten me this far in life, what will the new one do? No one can tell me, but I just have to have trust in the Gods and the universe that they know better than me and allow her to shine through right?? Easier said than done, I know, but it seems to be a running theme in client's readings of late, so perhaps this is the universe's way of telling me 'others are dealing with this same issue, how can you tell them to do something that you are unwilling to do yourself?' Which is true on many levels... a healer that can not heal themselves is no real healer at all right??

I know I have to embrace my true, spiritual self. It doesn't have to, and probably wont, happen overnight, so I guess I have time to take it slow. But I think I deserve to be the real me, to let my own light shine upon the world because 'as we light our own light shine, we unconsciously give permission for other people to do the same'. To me, that would be the ultimate gift to anyone. Not that anyone really needs permission from me to do anything, but perhaps if I lead by example, then others will start to believe it is OK and they can be who they were put here to be. That's gotta be for the greatest good of the world right??